


The tainted legacy

by ShiretoErebor118



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Blood Magic, Blood and Gore, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 09:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5285702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiretoErebor118/pseuds/ShiretoErebor118
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The past comes back to haunt Dorian with every step he takes. Yet he doesn't want to confide in anyone he has grown to care about. He doesn't want to be a burden again...But when the Mage gets an unexpected and unwanted reminder of what he has tried so hard to avoid; Dorian comes to realise that he may no longer have a choice...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The tainted legacy

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to try to write a angst fic about one of my favourite characters from Dragon age, and hopefully I have succeeded. Hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 1: The letter bound by blood

Dorian couldn't help but chuckle as he read another scrap of a dust laden book supposedly about Tevintan society. It was painfully obvious to him from the start that the closest thing to a society this writer had ever seen was a pig farm. How could someone take this seriously? He had never read anything more laughable in his life!

"Well maybe I'm such a barbaric Vint that I can never hope to understand such a wonderful piece of literary art." He muttered sarcastically to himself as he turned over the page to see the next section of utter drivel. 

Dorian always enjoyed this time between the life threatening situations he often found himself in with the Inquisition; though those could be fun too. It gave him a chance to relax and think; it was an opportunity to not have to put with the glares one would have to expect being who he is. It gave him the chance to...to not...have to think about

Before Dorian could finish his thought he suddenly felt a thin hand tightly grip his shoulder as someone whispered gently into his ear

"Stares feel like knives piercing his back, doubt, fear shoved away...a dark place, no one will see, no one will hear...the blood pours...how could they"

"Vasta vas!" Dorian shouted in surprise as he leapt away from the unexpected touch. The book plummeted to the floor as Dorian stared wide-eyed into Coles pale face; which was slightly covered by the grimy hat he always wore. Before Dorian could speak the spirits ramblings continued 

"Tossing, turning, how can I do this?! I need to get away..I can't...blindfold covers...blood...screams drowned out by...why, why would"

"Cole, stop..." Dorian hoarsely croaked as unwanted memories began to flood his mind. The ease he had felt only a brief moment ago had vanished as those all too familiar thoughts sounded around him like a death knell. Cole seemed naively unaware of how his words were affecting the Mage as he innocently asked

"What happened Dorian? I can see fragments, bits of scattered thoughts like broken glass, abandoned, unwanted, unclean...so much blood I can feel it pour...Stop! Please I can't move! Stop! I can't...Why am I so unclean, broken..."

"Enough Cole!" Dorian roughly snapped, which finally grabbed the spirits attention. A tense silence filled the library; with only the sounds of Dorian's ragged gasps breaking it. 

Dorians breathing began to grow even more panicked as an all too familiar shudder slithered languidly down his spine. Cole stared at the Mage with a look of pure shock and guilt as he stammered 

"Dorian, I'm...so sorry! I just wanted to...I felt the hurt, tangled with love, unwanted, unneeded, a disgrace...I just wanted to make him see, so much pain...tears streaming, cleaning the blood. I'm...trying to figure it out, but"

"Well Cole...maybe I don't want you to! To...to try to figure it out..." 

"I'm sorry! I see the pain, wrapped around you like snakes...Whenever I try to remove the snakes they bite, hold you tighter, and...and I want to help!"

"Cole! I do not need nor do I want your help!" Dorian's raised voice caused Cole to take a clumsy step back. The spirit looked utterly retched now as he once again stammered desperately in a hopeless response

"It was so loud, but hidden, shadows, you said I could...that I could ask...I only wanted to" 

Dorian took a deep shaky breath as he turned to look face the window. He had to calm down, Cole couldn't have known...he couldn't have imagined what dredging those memories up meant. No he wouldn't have. Dorian shuddered as he repeated the same words insistently again, and again in his mind. He was just trying to help..Cole just wanted to help you...

"Cole...I'm" As Dorian turned to apologise he suddenly noticed the empty silence surrounding him. Dorian had frightened him...he had driven Cole away... Dorian felt a sharp pang of guilt as he looked at the library around him; desperately searching for a sign that Cole was still there. 

Dorian called out; the cracks in his voice began to seep through once more as he spoke.

"Cole? Cole, I'm sorry! I...I shouldn't have...I just didn't want to think..." 

Yet even Dorian had to admit to himself that there was a small part of him; a tiny, seemingly insignificant, speck that thought of that moment every day since it had happened. Every blood curdling second had been burned into his mind; affecting everything he once was. Dorian couldn't help but bitterly laugh as he thought about his choice of words. He knew that he and the book he had just read had one awful thing in common. It was all just a joke...he was a joke...

"Dorian! Dorian, are you there?" Dorian jumped at the sound of the voice; still unnerved by what had happened earlier. For a brief moment he felt a slim glimmer of hope. Maybe it was Cole!

"Dorian!" As the voice grew louder he quickly realised that the Inquisitor was the one who was calling out for him. It wasn't Cole...why would it be? Why would he want to come back? Dorian quickly tried to hide his sorrow under the false bravado he often wore as he replied

"Hello Inquisitor! Did you call?" As he spoke Lavellan abruptly blundered into the room; looking surprisingly flustered. Whenever the Mage saw her she was always incredibly composed; willing to put up with even the most irritating of Orlesians. Yet today her hair was unbelievably windswept, her uniform was buttoned up incorrectly, and she seemed to be in a blind panic.

"Dorian! Look I got a...the chantry!...and she...um" As Lavellan stuttered Dorian placed a comforting hand on her arm in an attempt to show his support. Even though he pushed his friends away from his problems that did not mean he was going to ignore theirs.

"She? Oh did Sera try to throw pies at chantry officials again?" Despite the guilt that still gripped him Dorian couldn't help but softly laugh as he spoke. 

Lavellan and Sera had been together for a while now; despite their seemingly opposite personalities. Dorian knew that even just mentioning Sera to Lavellan could make her Vallaslin indistinguishable from her blushes.

"Dorian...its...its not about Sera..." Dorian's smile quickly faltered as he noticed the tenseness in her tone. He could see that her eyebrows were knotted together in frustration, towards him? It was this uncomfortable atmosphere that gave him the opportunity to finally state what had been plaguing his mind since she arrived

"Inquisitior...have you seen Cole? Is this chat about him? I..I need to talk to him as soon as possible..." Lavellan obviously noticed the stutter in his normally eloquent speech as her unusually awkward behaviour became utter confusion in a matter of seconds

"No? No Dorian this has nothing to do with Cole...this is about a letter from Tevinter I...Wait has something happened to Cole?"

"Yes I can't just leave..." Before he could finish his sentence realisation of what Lavellan had just said harshly struck the Mage. Why would the Inquisitior need to speak to him about a letter from...oh.

"Dorian? Dorian, are you alright?"

"What does it say Lavellan?"

"I..." Lavellan appeared to want to say something, anything, but instead morosely sighed as she extended her hand, which held a yellow parchment firmly in its grip, the penmanship was all too familiar. Dorian practically lunged towards it, causing the elf to take a startled step back once she let go.

He felt a growing numbness as he skimmed through the paper. Every letter, every word seemed like it was being spoken aloud by him. Dorian desperately attempted to hold onto his denial, yet all the lies, and the disappointed tone of it made who the writer was crystal clear. All Dorian felt was a hollow emptiness as he uttered the last line aloud

"After all...I know my son...Sincerely Halward Pavus..."

"Dorian I"

"Father..."

**Author's Note:**

> Oh don't worry more angst is coming in the second chapter which I will try to finish soon. If you are interested in following me on Tumblr my username is ShiretoErebor 
> 
> PS: not so easily broken is still going to be updated I just want to delve into other Fandoms as well :)


End file.
